Silence

    值班的早上不知怎么的突然想起了外婆的老房子，石头巷子，家家户户底下都水沟。也是在这样的夏末早晨起床，蹲在房子门口的地沟前刷牙，对面老太似乎万年不变的地面无表情坐在家门口，从早到晚，看着人来人去。外公年轻时一定英俊，这只是我剩下对他的惟一印象了。在那个家没人陪我玩，哥哥去上学，打游戏，和同龄的男孩子游戏。外婆成天忙进忙出，买菜烧饭睡午觉。外公只是英俊得坐在那里一言不发。连家里的猫也是懒洋洋，不理不睬。那时起我就一人学会了自娱自乐：早上一个人在门口搬个小桌子小凳子，在田字格里写汉字；下午沿着地沟在整个弄堂走来走去；在老房子昏暗陡峭的楼梯上爬上爬下；在哥哥的小阁楼上找漫画看；晚上在街角的路灯下坐在竹床上玩扑克牌；看舅妈化妆穿裙子，觉得她很好看…

    到了春节的时候大家都聚到这间小屋子里来，我最大的期待是姐姐们的到来。觉得是仙女下凡的姐姐们，看着她们就觉得开心，被她们摸摸脑袋就会心花怒放，坐在她们身边吃吃瓜子，咬咬糖伴着大人打麻将的闹声看看春节晚会，一年就在这样的热闹温暖中画上句号。

    外公外婆相继离开，这间旧屋也就这样在闹剧中崩解了。再没这样的静谧和温暖留给我。我只是在每次乘车经过同德里的时候仿佛看到那个小女孩满心欢喜的在妈妈前面跑着，喊着“家家，家家我们来了！”现在又能将这甜蜜的称呼献给谁呢？又能向谁撒娇发脾气了呢？

    早上看到林灿，笑着跑过来帮我拿早饭。我很喜欢她。又认真又勤劳的好女孩。    

    语言是他妈的最没用的东西。即使说得再多又怎样，这个媒介始终无法准确传递思想。别人还是不会了解你、去相信你、去爱你。我对这些失望了...

不知道为什么突然就想起乌镇...想念一个人夜间散步的时光，想念自由自在的无负担，想念那种陌生又安全，想去见见它的雪

白茶。清欢。无别事。

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Believe in seriousness
Believe in hard working
Believe in love
Believe this wonderful life

Talk less and do more

Maybe i did something wrong,maybe i'm always on the wrong track,maybe time's always wrong for me.I don't know.

I don't wanna lose myself.

I don't know,people are all talking around,try to put something in your mind and I gave that a shit ! I should konw what I really care for.

Let all past past, I don't wanna turn that back because I really appreciate all I have now：life；friends；mind；my own habbit；my own world...but in that certain kind of fact，yes，I do preserved for something I can't tell and I felt awful about that.Maybe it's all about time-thing and maybe it's my too much selfish and protection.I'm so sorry , I appologize and I would do better ever after.

you guys don't have to understand,this is totally my own affairs.

But the most important lesson is to use a normal heart to treat the most precious thing，then you can really enjoy it

This year's birthday i didn't perpare any gift for myself and i just spent it like any other day.No cake，no caddles，no friends say“ happy birthday” to me face to face .A little disappointed. A little expect before 8.22, like a child waiting for the candies.But i'm quite easy with that，cause maybe i have the most precious gift sent from above this year，and i'm happy everyday.That's far more good than any other gifts！

My heart's just still finally like this,don't have that much expectation,just wanna go down this road seriously,never try to waste anyday.I love this kind of life！ 

I don't write much about this man whom I like very much as usual,i don't know why.Maybe because I always feel that we could have a whole life time to go, to remember,to live the every moment  that I don't have to be that urge.